Friday, June 09, 2006


What is normal? Hah. Being sick gives my brains a push to think. Might post might be nonsensical but anyways i feel like blogging. Hohoho =D
I think some of switchfoot songs can be quite meaningful at times especially when your thinking randomly and emotionally. Or maybe it's just for me. Wahh, emotions making me emo.

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistence
The tension is here
Between who you are and you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?

So where do you go at a dead end?
How do you start when the road is steep?
What do I do when something goes wrong?
I think this hit me as i listened over and over again. We are on this earth, waiting for death to come our way, or whatever might happen to us, who knows. We fumble over obstacles, difficult circumstances, mistakes over and over again, losing ourselves, our confidence, our temper, our friends, our love ones. A history repeating itself. Feelings that tugs our heart, the brain, the body, whatever. It creates emotions, sometimes to kill, it burns in deep, really evoking. It goes up and down, left and right, back and forth like a rollercoaster. When it comes to the worst, i lost my heart. It takes me for a ride. Tension, tension, tension. Too much damage, too many lies, and too many promises broken. You cant tell the good and the bad ones now. The marks of confusion, it plays and tests my weaknesses. You want to stop playing the game, but you cant. As if the machine is all corked up, and it jams having you going for many rides for free, making you feel so sick but your stuck in it.

Looking for someone to trust isnt that easy now. You can even refer this to your own lover. Hah Cause your lover got to leave someday. Who knows what the other party is hiding anyways. You cant tell if he/she told you everything. True love waits i should say. Sometimes it's really no point getting into a rls when you know it cant last. Actually, humans just do things without any meaning to it, or just doing meaningless things. Me myself does that. I have no idea why, but i think it's just entertaining la.

Goodbyes, goodbyes. I dont like having to come across a goodbye. Sometimes you just had to say goodbye, cause the other party chose to not stop the gap from widening. And you tried ard to draw back again butthe other party is unwilling. That's when it's better not trying at all or it might end up being such a burden that you can let go and put down to carry on.
Is it worth sharing a wonderful thing together but knowing it would be ruin? Is it worth feeling way damn good now, but having to MUST suffer later? Is it worth it? Why must life be so tough anyways, having to crack my brains everyday. Wahh, what a killer. Oh my, i feel as if i'm sunk. Hah. Picking up the right mindset, right attitude and let go. It sounds soothing, but actually applying it is rubbish. Time time time. It is not easy being alone, to think about all this alone. Seriously, sometimes I realise i do need people. Keeping things to myself aint going to work this time.

Great, now i missed you.


Just like that 10:08 PM


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